My IG and FB newsfeeds spewed out photos of a cathedral being consumed in an inferno. I’m usually in a hurry checking comments on social media, but I lingered to see what it was all about. That only proves that I haven’t been in that place, unlike FB friends whose pictures now came pouring out, showing they had visited it, etc. etc.
So, I saw that it’s a magnificent cathedral in a much-loved city (well, for those who love the world anyway). And I passed by it, not giving it a care.
{Whisper} I couldn’t give a whit to something I haven’t even seen or been to or have the likelihood to visit in the near future. (More on this later).
A voice in my head accused me, “You’re bitter.”
I answered, “I’m bitter.” And I snickered at the audacious admission, laughing at myself, unable to hide from my own truth. And slapping the accuser for my easy and light acknowledgment of it, beating him to his game. At least he couldn’t accuse me of hypocrisy.
For days after that, the thought clung to me like the smell of kitchen sticking to one’s clothes. It returned to me over and over again, not to accuse but to be analyzed for what it really is.
And I came to the truth: I’m not bitter. I stand on grace. I live by grace. It is grace that holds me, makes me whole. I’m not bitter. It’s only analyzing what it truly is: my heart is not there.
Some years ago when I could still go out and we frequented the nearby hills and mountains of our provincial city, we saw a thick black smoke going up to the sky. It was coming from a few kilometers away and we learned that it was a burning factory and warehouse. I immediately thought of the workers there and the community around it.
I prayed incessantly that the Lord would stop the fire and save the workers and families and homes.
For these things I do care.
In the quiet moments when the world slept and I stayed awake, the thought came to me:
Again, the devil took Him up on an exceedingly high mountain, and showed Him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory. 9 And he said to Him, “All these things I will give You if You will fall down and worship me.”
Matthew 4:8-9
These magnificent edifices – “the kingdoms of the world and their glory” – who owns them? If they are the devil to give…
My heart is not in it and I’m brave enough to be honest about it. God hates hypocrites. (And when the Lord has finally blessed me with healing and good health, I wouldn’t be interested in visiting that place anyway).
And if there’s bitterness in my heart (because I can’t travel and see my dream places), the Lord Jesus will reveal it to me. We will work on it together.
We could become bitter, envious, jealous, covetous. We could be anything (at one time or another) that the Lord doesn’t want us to be. But if we come to Him bearing these things and laying them down at His feet, begging Him to transform us – He is faithful to help and change us.
I ask you: “How many times will you pick me up,
From the song “Grace” by Laura Story
When I keep on letting you down?
And each time I will fall short of Your glory,
How far will forgiveness abound?”
And You answer: ” My child, I love you.
And as long as you’re seeking My face,
You’ll walk in the power of My daily sufficient grace.”
He will show us where our hearts lie, where they dwell. And He will lead us to His own heart, His desires. His will. He will lead us to where our hearts should belong.
They belong to Him, to His kingdom that never, ever ends.
“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; 20 but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
Matthew 6:19-21
Where do our hearts lie? Where do they belong? Is it at the heart of the Lord Jesus Christ or in the embrace of the world?
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